Well it's Thursday and that means it's View from a Fan
day, otherwise known as Cheat picks apart 500-words of crap day. Actually, today's entry isn't the worst we have seen, but I'm feeling less and less remorse with each passing one of these I do.
I have only done a couple of these, so I suppose I should still give an explanation. The Chicago Tribune
is running a piece submitted, by you, the fan, on the Chicago White Sox. They've largely been useless drivel. I've decided to pick them apart, and, as of this entry, give them a grade.
was submitted by Adam Gdowski. I'm pretty sure he misspelled his name, because there's no way a word is allowed to start with G and D consecutively. -3 Points
Adam: The White Sox should have a great chance to win the Central Division next season, but there are some holes that need to be filled in order to do that.
Solid opening. No delusions of grandeur, like saying the Sox are going to win the Series, or make a huge splash in the free agent market. +10 points
Adam: First, they need to get a top of the line pitcher that can be a No. 1 or 2. Carl Pavano probably will sign with Boston, but with the money the White Sox have open with the likely departure of Magglio Ordonez and Jose Valentin, they should go after Pavano.
Demonstrates knowledge of likely free agent destinations, +4 Points
Adam: Eric Milton and Russ Ortiz are also pitchers that could be very valuable right in the middle of the rotation. But if those guys go to other organizations, Matt Clement or Jon Lieber are reasonable too.
Using Eric Milton and the word valuable in the same sentence, -4 Points.
Demonstrates knowledge of multiple free agent pitchers, the last two of whom will likely be very good values, +5 Points
Adam: Second, shortstop is a hole to fill were there are many players available. Omar Vizquel looks like the guy who will take that spot, but Christian Guzman would be just as good and he also played for the Twins last year.
Quick, how many shortstops, who qualified for the batting title, posted a higher OPS than Jaun Uribe? Give up? 3 -- Three, only three Major League shortstops were better than Uribe using one of the most rudimentary offensive statistics. It must be his defense then, right? Nope, Uribe played Gold Glove caliber defense at short this season. My beef isn't really with Adam here. He's just regurgitating what he's read in the papers and heard on the radio. I can't be too hard on him for that. -1 Point
Mentioning Christian Guzman, on the other hand, that's grounds for a literary beatdown. I'd give myself carpal tunnel syndrome if said what I really wanted to about Guzman. I need to keep my hands and wrists healthy for the links
, but you can pretty much figure it out reading here
, and here
. - 7 points
Adam: Another interesting situation is Paul Konerko and Carlos Lee. One of them is gone from what I'm hearing. In that case, Konerko is the man to go. I love him, but letting Lee go would mean even more of a possibility of Joe Borchard starting, so how about Konerko for Jason Kendall. Kendell is a great defender and a great on-base hitter.
Identifying Konerko as a better trade target than Lee, +4 points
Konerko for Kendell, good idea, +3 points.
Kendall is a great defender? -5 points
Adam: Then Ross Gload or someone like Tino Martinez or Brad Fullmer could be a solid first basemen. And then there is the spot in right field. Jermaine Dye or Richard Hidalgo are probably not on the White Sox's radar but it puts a good defender on the field and a solid hitter at the plate. But that might be over budget so Carl Everett will have to do for a year.
Ross Gload at first base, +3 points
Tino Martinez or Brad Fullmer at first base, -2 points
Understanding fiscal constraints, +3 points
Adam: Last thing would be the bullpen. A veteran like Bob Wickman, Jeff Nelson or Paul Quantill[sic] will work to help Mr. Zero. So hopefully the White Sox do the right things to make next year a successful one and I believe it will.
Jeff Nelson was borderline terrible this year, but he's got a good track record, so I'll let that one slide. They could catch lightning in a bottle again. no points.
Bob Wickman would be a good option if he was cheap, which I doubt he'll be. +2 points
Misspelling Quantrill, -1 point
. Any name with a Q in it is difficult to spell. Plus it's not really his fault that a misspelling of a notable major league pitcher made it to print. Tribune: -25 points
Quantrill's not a free agent, -6 points
: 5 points -- I'm not sure if that's any good or not. I know it's not going to be the worst score I hand out, but it's probably not the best either. All scoring was completely arbitrary and I reserve the right to change the grade in the future at my own whim.